#3 Think Positives, Embrace with Open Minds

Have good mindsets, forget about the pasts and focus on the future and you will reap the rewards later

     Prior to the writing of this column, I occasionally had some sleepless nights. After decided upon to have this column published to my blog week in, week out, my sleepless nights woes exacerbated. 

This is not purely because my minds keep thinking of what to write in my next column when I pull under the cover on my bed but due to the fact that I have been receiving a deluge of feedbacks from my friends about my previous blog post recently which has taken a toll in my sleeping habits. Granted, there are some good and bad comments over the period and while I find some praising comments quite pleasing which definitely serve as a springboard to spur me on, some criticizing comments have been a forgettable one. 

The tasks of maintaining a blog post consistently does not seem as easy as it look. For my case, it requires extreme dedication and commitment to write a column in addition to handling my routine affairs.

In our daily lives, we have ups and downs. While we often have no choice to determine our own destiny, we are fortunate enough to be able to choose the right path in our lives which eventually bear fruits. Of course, it still depends on whether we take up the so-called ‘right’ pathway or ‘wrong roads’ in our lives. 

Yes, you would argue that no one would like to choose the latter should chances permit. Yes, fully understood. But why not we choose to calm down and contemplate what goes wrong to see if any improvements can be made even in the worst circumstances? No?

When we do mistakes, we often get reprimanded and when we do the right things, little do we see the source of compliment come arising. As a matter of fact, we are trained to learn from mistakes and not to repeat the failure again in the future. Our minds are constantly being wired to handle even the world’s biggest problems. Unfortunately, many of us break down in the midst of shenanigans.

In a 10 km long marathon race, Runner A could jog past all his opponents effortlessly and cross the finishing line in the shortest time due to his physical advantages. In stark contrast, Runner B, who lags behind the others most of the time could only watch helplessly the distant runners in front of him to get further and further away while those lag behind him are starting to play catch up. 

However, despite his measurable disadvantages compared to the others, he is determined to run till the finishing line and he believes that as long as he keeps running, he still stand a chance to win the marathon until the real winner emerges. Runner A, however, would have his winning opportunity compromised if he thinks that he is impossible to be beaten. 

The moral of this story is not to educate us that complacency will cost us and sheer determination to work on things would definitely lead us to glory. Having confidence and self-belief does not guarantee success but if one lacks the self-belief, certainly the downward spiral is inevitable.

Also, the more we take things for granted, the more we lose. This is simply because we do not value things enough, we tend to neglect our own responsibilities which eventually cost us dearly. Because we have too much of regrets and could not forget our past failures, we get embroiled in a dire situation which hampered every single opportunity to take us a step forward. At the same time, when we have too much of anxiety of our future, we stay at the same point where we belongs.

As clearly as I can remember, I used to be severely traumatised by even the slightest enigma and details. Back then, I was always afraid if something bad will happen to myself (which we called anxiety) and constantly reminded myself to be extra careful with my words. As a result, I dare not to deal with people effectively as I ever could, which has severely land a massive blow to my personal self-confidence. 

As time passes, I would constantly reflect at what I have did or spoken to others although all the time I was not doing anything out of ordinary (which we called ‘could not forget about past happenings’). Sound strange? 

Okay, let me tell you the answers. In other words, I had a mild depression. During those time, I was like living in a world of my own as if nobody could reach his hand to pull me out of the h*** gate. Recovering from a state of mental depression is not as easy as swallowing a dosage of cough medicine. It certainly takes time to re-adjust your mental state slowly and tell yourself you just can do it. A few of the measures that I opted for are think positives, have good mindsets and embrace with open minds.

Most often, when we do mistakes, we point the finger to the others just to sway away the blames to make ourselves feel better. The move is almost identical to a harakiri manoeuvre as in the end, we learn nothing. As I mentioned earlier, I am not someone who can offers that sort of best advices when things turn awry but I must say that one of the most vital ingredients to become a happier person is to stay positives. 

Surely, being successful it is not that staying positives at all time that enough. It requires consideration in several other aspects as well. The world keep changing and if we cannot adjust ourselves to fit into the society then we will only take a step backward and witness the others around us improve and prosper.

By: Vincent Ti